| Week #1 | ||
| Homestar's Runners | at | Los Cuñados (D) |
| Westies | at | Cool Story, Bro (D) |
| Kubes Likes Boobs | at | Blue Barracudas |
| Fukushima Fallouts | at | Osama's Body Guards (D) |
| Holyhead Harpies | at | Tatooine Sand People (D) |
ALSO, be sure to check out the highlight clips that I occasionally link as well as the Injuries and the Standings page for more information on what’s happening around the League.
For detailed stats on each team/player performance, please see the Google Spreadsheet that I emailed right after this post was sent out. It’s way better than that Excel crap I was working with.
Game 1: Divisional Matchup - Homestar's Runners vs Los Cuñados
The Tecmo Super Bowl Fantasy Showdown kicked off with a back and forth divisional matchup between hometown rivals Jon and Drew. Early in the week the Oilers played the Raiders, which put some of our best players on display. Bo Jackson tore it up as only Bo Jackson does, but Warren Moon wouldn’t stay quiet... He blew up for one rushing touchdown and two passing touchdowns in the second half. The only problem? He was throwing TD’s to Jon’s WR, Drew Hill!
Heading into the final game of the regular season, Drew (Los Cuñados) held a slim 3-point lead over Jon (Homestar's Runners). Drew’s roster had been played out, but Jon still had one WR in his back pocket... W. Slaughter. The Browns were playing the Cowboys, so I figured the Cowboys defense could shut down QB Bernie Kosar and keep the ball away from Slaughter.
Ha... yeah right. After keeping my hopes up by playing it cool in the first half, Kosar and Slaughter went absolutely bananas late in the game, racking up the two highest player point totals for the week. Slaughter caught three TD passes on the way to a commanding Browns victory.
Winner: Homestar’s Runners, with 155.22 Total Points. (1-0)
Leading Scorer: WR W. Slaughter of the Browns, with 37.3 points.
Loser: Los Cuñados: 120.8 Total Points. (0-1)
Leading Scorer: QB Warren Moon of the Oilers, with 26.48 points.
Check out this clip of Thurman Thomas scooping up a fumbled punt.
Heading into the final game of the regular season, Drew (Los Cuñados) held a slim 3-point lead over Jon (Homestar's Runners). Drew’s roster had been played out, but Jon still had one WR in his back pocket... W. Slaughter. The Browns were playing the Cowboys, so I figured the Cowboys defense could shut down QB Bernie Kosar and keep the ball away from Slaughter.
Ha... yeah right. After keeping my hopes up by playing it cool in the first half, Kosar and Slaughter went absolutely bananas late in the game, racking up the two highest player point totals for the week. Slaughter caught three TD passes on the way to a commanding Browns victory.
Winner: Homestar’s Runners, with 155.22 Total Points. (1-0)
Leading Scorer: WR W. Slaughter of the Browns, with 37.3 points.
Loser: Los Cuñados: 120.8 Total Points. (0-1)
Leading Scorer: QB Warren Moon of the Oilers, with 26.48 points.
Check out this clip of Thurman Thomas scooping up a fumbled punt.
Game Two: Divisional Matchup - Westies vs Cool Story, Bro
Our second game of the week between Jamie (Westies) and JeBron (Cool Story, Bro) was a surprisingly close finish. Jamie’s top draft pick, Joe Montana, was terrorized by the Giants’ Defense. Her top receiver, Haywood Jeffries, watched in horror as fellow WR Drew Hill stole the show. The biggest producer on the Westies was WR Reggie Lanhorne of the Browns, and he was on the bench!
Jamie entered the final few games of the season trailing JeBron by just a handful of points, with several key players (RB Eric Metcalf and WR Michael Irvin) left to play.
Just like the matchup between Jon and Drew, the Browns/Cowboys game proved to be the deciding factor. With QB Bernie Kosar of the Browns slingin’ the rock like nobody’s business, RB Eric Metcalf only saw six touches all game. He was lucky enough to snag two passes, but his overall score of 12.1 left the Westies just one point ahead of Cool Story, Bro.
It was time for Jamie’s #1 WR, Michael Irvin, to seal the deal... except the only thing Irvin was interested in sealing was his doomed fate as an overrated draft pick. The Browns defense was tenacious, forcing Aikman into an 0-7 day with one INT. Irvin posted a ZERO, dropping two passes on his way to collecting a Bust of the Week award along with his QB Troy Aikman.
Amazingly, the Westies were still in a position to win. Leading by 1 point heading into the final game, the Westies needed the Chargers defense to shut down WR Louis Lipps of the Steelers. However, the nail in the coffin came late in the third quarter when the Chargers defense blitzed Steelers QB Bubby Brister. He reacted quickly, launching a pass to a wide open Lipps for a 53 yard gain.
Game. Over.
Winner: JeBron (Cool Story, Bro), with 67.92 Total Points. (1-0)
Leading Scorer: Rams RB Cleveland Gary, with 18.2 Points.
Loser: Jamie (Westies), with 60.44 Total Points. (0-1)
Leading Scorer: Joe Montana, with 13.36 Points.
Jamie entered the final few games of the season trailing JeBron by just a handful of points, with several key players (RB Eric Metcalf and WR Michael Irvin) left to play.
Just like the matchup between Jon and Drew, the Browns/Cowboys game proved to be the deciding factor. With QB Bernie Kosar of the Browns slingin’ the rock like nobody’s business, RB Eric Metcalf only saw six touches all game. He was lucky enough to snag two passes, but his overall score of 12.1 left the Westies just one point ahead of Cool Story, Bro.
It was time for Jamie’s #1 WR, Michael Irvin, to seal the deal... except the only thing Irvin was interested in sealing was his doomed fate as an overrated draft pick. The Browns defense was tenacious, forcing Aikman into an 0-7 day with one INT. Irvin posted a ZERO, dropping two passes on his way to collecting a Bust of the Week award along with his QB Troy Aikman.
Amazingly, the Westies were still in a position to win. Leading by 1 point heading into the final game, the Westies needed the Chargers defense to shut down WR Louis Lipps of the Steelers. However, the nail in the coffin came late in the third quarter when the Chargers defense blitzed Steelers QB Bubby Brister. He reacted quickly, launching a pass to a wide open Lipps for a 53 yard gain.
Game. Over.
Winner: JeBron (Cool Story, Bro), with 67.92 Total Points. (1-0)
Leading Scorer: Rams RB Cleveland Gary, with 18.2 Points.
Loser: Jamie (Westies), with 60.44 Total Points. (0-1)
Leading Scorer: Joe Montana, with 13.36 Points.
Game 3: Non-Divisional Matchup - Kubes Likes Boobs vs Blue Barracudas
Welcome to this week’s only non-divisional game. After tallying up the scores, I’ve decided to rename this game the Toilet Bowl. In the far corner, it’s Sam with Kubes Likes Boobs. In the near corner, we’ve got Tyler with the Blue Barracudas!
Wow. Not only was this the closest finish (the final margin was only .044 points), but it also featured the two lowest scoring teams of the week.
Things got off to a bad start for the Blue Barracudas when RB Neal Anderson of the Bears went down with an injury on the second play from scrimmage. The resulting 0.4 score for his RB put Tyler on his heels early.
No worries, though, as Sam’s entire receiving core decided to take the day off. Between his three WR’s and one TE, Kubes Likes Boobs managed to tally a grand total of ZERO points. Yep, no catches, no yards... nothing.
I honestly thought Sam was a lock for the win after RB Bobby Humphrey of the Broncos notched a 23 point performance. But Tyler still had Barry Sanders in the wings...
Speaking of the Lions, Tyler owes a big thank you to QB Rodney Peete for keeping things interesting. Down 7-0 to the Skins with 1:33 on the clock, Peete decided to run his way down the field in a series of QB draws and scrambles. Then, with only 30 seconds on the clock, he dropped back and found a wide open Barry Sanders for the TD. The game went into overtime, the Lions got the ball, and Barry took the direct snap 73 yards to the house.
Oh, but it gets better. In the final game of the week, Sam had QB Bubby Brister of the Steelers going up against the Chargers defense. He only needed 4.69 points.
Bubby threw for a few meager yards in the first quarter an INT in the second quarter, helping Kubes Likes Boobs to fall further behind. He started showing signs of life in the third quarter until he threw another INT, and all was lost.......
Pfff, this is BUBBY BRISTER we’re talking about. He fuckin’ got back out there, tossed a couple passes to the legendary Louis Lipps, and suddenly he’s less than 4 points from the win.
Late in the 4th quarter, the Chargers stuffed the Steelers on three consecutive plays leading to a 4th and 19 from around the 30. Because it was a close game the Steelers decided to go for it, and guess what... Bubby threw a TD pass to some no-namer, and in the process slew the beasts known only as the Blue Barracudas.
Winner: Sam (Kubes Likes Boobs), with 61.1 Total Points. (1-0)
Leading Scorer: RB Bobby Humphrey of the Broncos, with 23 points.
Loser: Tyler (Blue Barracudas), with 59.26 Total Points. (0-1)
Leading Scorer: RB Barry Sanders of the Lions, with 25.7 points.
Check out the double game-winner from Barry Sanders.
Wow. Not only was this the closest finish (the final margin was only .044 points), but it also featured the two lowest scoring teams of the week.
Things got off to a bad start for the Blue Barracudas when RB Neal Anderson of the Bears went down with an injury on the second play from scrimmage. The resulting 0.4 score for his RB put Tyler on his heels early.
No worries, though, as Sam’s entire receiving core decided to take the day off. Between his three WR’s and one TE, Kubes Likes Boobs managed to tally a grand total of ZERO points. Yep, no catches, no yards... nothing.
I honestly thought Sam was a lock for the win after RB Bobby Humphrey of the Broncos notched a 23 point performance. But Tyler still had Barry Sanders in the wings...
Speaking of the Lions, Tyler owes a big thank you to QB Rodney Peete for keeping things interesting. Down 7-0 to the Skins with 1:33 on the clock, Peete decided to run his way down the field in a series of QB draws and scrambles. Then, with only 30 seconds on the clock, he dropped back and found a wide open Barry Sanders for the TD. The game went into overtime, the Lions got the ball, and Barry took the direct snap 73 yards to the house.
Oh, but it gets better. In the final game of the week, Sam had QB Bubby Brister of the Steelers going up against the Chargers defense. He only needed 4.69 points.
Bubby threw for a few meager yards in the first quarter an INT in the second quarter, helping Kubes Likes Boobs to fall further behind. He started showing signs of life in the third quarter until he threw another INT, and all was lost.......
Pfff, this is BUBBY BRISTER we’re talking about. He fuckin’ got back out there, tossed a couple passes to the legendary Louis Lipps, and suddenly he’s less than 4 points from the win.
Late in the 4th quarter, the Chargers stuffed the Steelers on three consecutive plays leading to a 4th and 19 from around the 30. Because it was a close game the Steelers decided to go for it, and guess what... Bubby threw a TD pass to some no-namer, and in the process slew the beasts known only as the Blue Barracudas.
Winner: Sam (Kubes Likes Boobs), with 61.1 Total Points. (1-0)
Leading Scorer: RB Bobby Humphrey of the Broncos, with 23 points.
Loser: Tyler (Blue Barracudas), with 59.26 Total Points. (0-1)
Leading Scorer: RB Barry Sanders of the Lions, with 25.7 points.
Check out the double game-winner from Barry Sanders.
Game 4: Divisional Matchup - Fukushima Fallouts vs Osama's Body Guards
Strap in for the season’s first “Duel of the Duluthonites”!!! Yep, I know it’s Duluthian, but that just sounded lame. This was a divisional game.
Noah leads the charge for the Fukushima Fallouts, while David Horn is still being held by the CIA after naming his team Osama’s Body Guards. God speed, my friend.
This was only the second matchup where both teams exceeded 100 Total Points.
Noah came out swingin’ with his nasty combination of QB Dan Marino of the Dolphins and QB Randall Cunningham of the Eagles. Cunningham had a hell of a game in the air and on the ground, and Marino was above average, too. The only problem was that Marino’s favorite target was David’s WR Mark Dupper, who caught two passes for 142 yards and a TD. Add in David’s RB Keith Byars of the Eagles having a monster day on the ground, and Noah’s RB Sammie Smith of the Dolphins having a decent day as well, and you’ve got quite a lot invested in just two teams. This kept the points race relatively even.
David’s starting QB’s were laughable, but when WR Stephone Paige of the Chiefs hauled in 3 TD catches it left Noah to rely on his Chargers defense and Steelers Kicker Gary Anderson. The Chargers defense certainly rose to the occasion with multiple sacks and interceptions, but Anderson was held without a FG try and Osama’s Body Guards were victorious in the end.
Winner: David (Osama’s Body Guards), with 117.78 Total Points. (1-0)
Leading Scorer: WR Stephone Paige of the Chiefs with 32.7 Points.
Loser: Noah (Fukushima Fallouts), with 108.46 Total Points. (0-1)
Leading Scorer: QB Randall Cunningham of the Eagles, with 25.28 Points.
Watch Dan Marino connect with Mark Duper.
Noah leads the charge for the Fukushima Fallouts, while David Horn is still being held by the CIA after naming his team Osama’s Body Guards. God speed, my friend.
This was only the second matchup where both teams exceeded 100 Total Points.
Noah came out swingin’ with his nasty combination of QB Dan Marino of the Dolphins and QB Randall Cunningham of the Eagles. Cunningham had a hell of a game in the air and on the ground, and Marino was above average, too. The only problem was that Marino’s favorite target was David’s WR Mark Dupper, who caught two passes for 142 yards and a TD. Add in David’s RB Keith Byars of the Eagles having a monster day on the ground, and Noah’s RB Sammie Smith of the Dolphins having a decent day as well, and you’ve got quite a lot invested in just two teams. This kept the points race relatively even.
David’s starting QB’s were laughable, but when WR Stephone Paige of the Chiefs hauled in 3 TD catches it left Noah to rely on his Chargers defense and Steelers Kicker Gary Anderson. The Chargers defense certainly rose to the occasion with multiple sacks and interceptions, but Anderson was held without a FG try and Osama’s Body Guards were victorious in the end.
Winner: David (Osama’s Body Guards), with 117.78 Total Points. (1-0)
Leading Scorer: WR Stephone Paige of the Chiefs with 32.7 Points.
Loser: Noah (Fukushima Fallouts), with 108.46 Total Points. (0-1)
Leading Scorer: QB Randall Cunningham of the Eagles, with 25.28 Points.
Watch Dan Marino connect with Mark Duper.
Keith Byars? Yeah, he just carried that drive.
Check out Randall Cunningham’s crazy speed.
Game 5: Divisional Matchup - Holyhead Harpies vs Tatooine Sand People
Last but not least, we have a friendly neighborhood battle between Ashley (Holyhead Harpies) and Josh (Tatooine Sand People). This was Week 1’s most lopsided result, with an insane Total Points gap of 77.34!! The beat down was in effect early and often.
The contest started off even when Holyhead Harpies WR Gary Clark of the Redskins caught a TD pass and accounted for all but 3 yards of QB Mark Rypien’s passing total for the day. The Tatooine Sand People got a response from a surprising source, QB Jay Schroeder of the Raiders. Even though RB Bo Jackson was doing most of the dirty work, he always ran out of steam near the goal line, leading to a few quick TD passes for Schroeder.
After this, it was a blowout. Josh called upon the tag team of QB Troy Aikman and RB Emmitt Smith, both members of the Cowboys. They faced a so-so Browns team and were hungry for domination... but... well, if you’ve read any of the other posts you know that the Browns kicked the SHIT out of the Cowboys. Aikman went 0-7 with an INT, and Smith’s 12.8 point performance wasn’t nearly enough.
The misery continued for the Sand People when RB James Brooks of the Bengals could only muster a few yards and a fumble, leading to a 2.9 point performance. WR Cris Carter of the Vikings was held without a catch, while the strong duo of WR Sterling Sharpe of the Packers and WR Mark Clayton of the Dolphins couldn’t manage to break the 10 point mark respectively.
Over on the Holyhead Harpies, domination was in full swing. QB Steve DeBerg of the Chiefs (who I rated #1 as my Biggest Draft Steal) went supernatural on us, throwing for 186 yards and 4 TD’s. RB Christian Okoye, also of the Chiefs, had two 50+ runs on his way to a 154/2 TD day.
However, the most decisive blow was from QB Bernie Kosar of the Browns, who was this week’s highest scoring player. He not only threw for 270 yards and 4 TD’s, he also rushed for 62 yards and a score, finishing the week with 39 total points! Daaaaaaamn, son.
Winner: Ashley (Holyhead Harpies), with 145.24 Total Points. (1-0)
Leading Scorer: QB Bernie Kosar of the Browns, with 39 Points.
Loser: Josh (Tatooine Sand People), with 67.9 points. (0-1)
Leading Scorer: QB Jay Schroeder of the Raiders, with 17.8 Points.
Week 1 Awards and Statistics
Owners of the Week:
Jon (Homestar's Runners) with 155.22 Total Points.
Ashley (Holyhead Harpies) with 144.24 Total Points.
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Drafted Players of the Week:
Drafted Players of the Week:
QB Bernie Kosar of the Browns with 39 points (Ashley)
WR W. Slaughter of the Browns with 37.3 points (Jon)
Undrafted Players of the Week:
QB Vinny Testaverde of the Bucs with 31.78 points
Kicker Tony Zendejas of the Rams with 15 points
C'mon, Man! Busts of the Week:
QB Troy Aikman of the Cowboys, with 1.9 points (Josh)
RB Neal Anderson of the Bears, with 0.4 points (Tyler)
WR Andre Reed of the Bills, with 0 points (David)
Too Bad he was On The Bench!
WR Reggie Langhorne of the Browns, with 20.7 points (Jamie)
Largest Margin of Victory: 77.34 (Ashley over Josh)
Smallest Margin of Victory: 1.84 (Sam over Tyler)
Most Points Scored in a Loss: 120.8 (Drew)
Average Total Points: 96.27
Boom baby! This is so fun!
ReplyDeleteNoah, you should know that gary anderson will always let you down in a pinch.
ReplyDeleteHaha, glad you like it. For drafting in the 10 spot you have a very good team!
ReplyDeleteBarry Sanders' OT touchdown was AWESOME! Looking forward to more of that this year. OHHHH YEEEEAAAAAAA!!!
ReplyDelete